Thursday 13 July 2017 by Neil Tollfree

Warning that Donald Trump may become fully sentient by 2018


Donald Trump becomes sentient

There is concern within the scientific world that Donald Trump may achieve full sentience at some point in the next year.

Currently, the US President is just a bizarrely coloured slab of meat driven by a combination of horniness and petty rivalry, however, there are signs that Mr Trump is moving towards sentience.

“Right now, the US President isn’t really self-aware in any real, meaningful sense of the word,” said Simon Williams, Professor of the appalling and terrifying at Oxford University.

“He is able to see and hear and he can smell his own farts and giggle, but he has no real understanding of the world around him and his place within it. He’s like a small baby or a quite stupid beetle in that respect.

“But you can see in his eyes, he’s starting to be curious about the world around him.”

The concern is what might happen should the President actually achieve full sentience.

“Well, yes. On the surface, it might seem that if he understood the connection between his actions and consequence, this might be a good thing, but I’m not sure.

“Right now, if a media outlet does something the President doesn’t like, he just releases a childishly constructed video of himself punching the media outlet. If he actually becomes fully sentient then he could end up actually bombing CNN.”

It is understood that the theoretical day that Donald Trump becomes fully sentient has been nicknamed ‘Judgement Day’ and that a resistance movement in the future is currently planning to send back a robot Hillary Clinton to defeat him in last year’s election before such an eventuality comes to pass.

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