Tuesday 11 July 2017 by Jack Marshall

Tory MP favourite to replace Richard Hammond on The Grand Tour


The Grand Tour Ann-Marie Morris

Anne-Marie Morris has replaced Ron Atkinson as the favourite to replace Richard Hammond on The Grand Tour.

The Conservative MP was recorded using the expression ‘n****r in the woodpile’ during a meeting on Brexit earlier this month. She subsequently apologised and blamed her use of the n-bomb on excessively listening to Jay-Z’s new album ‘4:44’.

However, although her political career may now be in ruins, it’s thought that her outburst impressed the producers of The Grand Tour who are keen to replace accident-prone man-child Hammond.

“Producers have had enough of Hammond and his ridiculous goatee and are keen to replace him with someone who’d be more popular with the show’s key demographic: the casually racist knobheads,” said an insider.

“Also, given Morris’ experience dealing with overpaid, out-of-touch old farts in parliament, she’s perfectly qualified to work with Jeremy Clarkson and James May.”

However, not everyone believes that the MP for Newton Abbot will be leaving politics.

“I think this will eventually blow over,” said top political pundit Simon Williams.

“Obviously, she made a serious error of judgement using an antiquated, racist phrase to describe Brexit. I’ve no idea why she couldn’t just call it a technicolored shit-show like everyone else.”

“But, at the end of the day, she didn’t say the only n-word that Tories do consider to be offensive: ‘nationalisation’.”

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