Tuesday 11 July 2017 by Alex Webster

Theresa May prepares to hand over Brexit negotiations to next generation


Theresa May Brexit negotiations

May has realised that leaving the EU won’t be completed in her lifetime.

With negotiations between British and EU politicians no further forward than they were a year ago, and no apparent plan for either side, the government has stated its intention to let the younger generation take the reins as soon as possible.

Prime Minister Theresa May stated, “What we don’t need is for an exit deal with the EU to distract the government for many years to come. So we’re giving it to some younger people to sort out.

“We envision the people currently choosing their GCSEs will be the ‘caretakers’ of the EU deal, and the final details will be concluded by their children.”

“It has occurred to us that almost everybody under 30 voted to remain, and they are unlikely to push for the hard Brexit that certain people on Facebook want.

“However, statistics suggest that by middle-age they will have grown right-wing enough to prefer racist, pseudo-imperial anarchy over having trained medical staff and more opportunity.

“We expect Britain to have left the EU by 2089, assuming everything goes exactly to plan. And the Conservatives are still in power. And that we’re as strong and stable as we are now.”

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