Tuesday 11 July 2017

‘Cash in hand’ economy definitely best place to look for tax avoidance, insist multinational corporations


cash in hand industry

Billion dollar companies doing business in the UK have today backed calls for the government to try and raise more tax revenue from the guy you pay to clean your windows.

With the government’s Taylor Review claiming that cash-in-hand work should become a thing of the past, corporations paying pennies on the pound in tax to the UK government have applauded the findings.

As one executive told us, “Everyone has to pay their fair share, so why should Pete who does your windows every six weeks for £20 cash get away with not declaring those earnings.

“Pete is hiding that money from the government, which is very different to what we do. We tell the government exactly how much money we’re making, but then we hire expensive lawyers and accountants to present it in such a way that we don’t have the amount of tax on it that you thought was due.

“The difference is huge. Yes, it is, shut up.”

Voters have welcomed the news, and can’t wait to see what the government has planned to clamp down on the scourge of cash-in-hand businesses.

Basingstoke resident Simon Williams told us, “I am delighted that we’re finally cracking down on the real reason the NHS is struggling and why fireman and nurses earn less in real terms than they did in 2010 – it’s that bloody car wash at the end of the road.

“I can’t believe I used to think it was the likes of Google and Starbucks using elaborate tax avoidance schemes to keep £60bn a year from the Exchequer, when really it was that bloke selling jackets on the market who’ll do you a deal for cash.

“Horsewhipping is too good for them.”

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