Friday 7 July 2017 by Neil Tollfree

Man traumatised as manager instigates conversation at urinal


Urinals conversation

A man was being treated for trauma after his line manager instigated a conversation while they stood next to each other at the urinal.

“It was awful,” said IT support operative Simon Williams, his eyes haunted by the horror of what had happened.

“I was nearly finished, and Mr Simpkins came in, stood next me and took out is…you know, his old chap, and while he was urinating, he started talking to me about a support ticket.

“He had his tie over his shoulder and was stood about a foot away from the urinal, leaning back slightly as if to demonstrate how managerial his arc of urine was.

“I just froze. I’d finished, but I wasn’t sure if it would be rude to do myself up and go and wash my hands while he was talking to me.

“So I just stood there, not saying anything and not urinating while he was going on about the printer problems on the second floor.”

It was at this point; things took a turn for the awkward.

“He noticed that I’d finished and he sort of looked down at…at my penis and went ‘Not urinating Williams? Bit of a poor show,’ he then broke wind loudly and left without washing his hands.”

Mr Williams has been off work for six weeks and is described as having a similar level of trauma to someone who has seen active combat.

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