Monday 3 July 2017 by Neil Tollfree

World queuing championship ruined by Tennis


wimbledon queues

Once again, the World queuing championship at Wimbledon has been invaded by a number of non-queuers playing tennis in the Queuing Championship grounds.

“It is frustrating,” said champion queuer Simon Williams.

“People come from all round the world to West London to queue, it’s not fair that the experience and competition should be ruined by these idiots in sweatbands who insist on bashing their balls all over the place.”

The biggest problem for the organisers is the blue ribbon event, the Endurance Queue.

“It’s the big one, the best queuers in the world arrive in a field on Sunday and queue, sometimes for over a day.”

“The problem is that the prize is a nice sit down. Unfortunately the scourge of tennis raises his head, and invariably the nice sit down is ruined by these guerrilla tennis players who just lie in wait for the queue winners and as soon as the nice sit down begins, they start playing.”

There are numerous queuing events other than the Endurance queue. There are several short queuing events with prizes of some strawberries, or the right to use an ATM, a late day medium length queue with a prize of using public transport.

By far the most popular queue though is the busting-for-it queue, with the well-earned prize of the use of a toilet.

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