Saturday 1 July 2017

Cats wondering who gave all these lives to a bloody hamster


Cats questioning lives given to hamster

Cats have been left wondering just how many bloody lives are being given to this hamster.

The feline owners of nine lives have criticised the decision to give reckless hamsters so many lives when they are clearly wasting them with trivialities designed to entertain morons.

Cat Simon Williams told us, “Lives should be cashed in on the important stuff, like when you fall off a roof or get into a fight with the big fella at the end of the road because you pissed on his shed.

“Not stupid stuff like driving off a cliff and bursting into flames, or rolling a drag racer on an airstrip. That’s just stupid.

“Tom who used to live across the street from me got run over by a Vauxhall Astra before his first birthday, I think he only got two lives, Yet this idiot hamster must have gone through half a dozen lives already.

“Hamsters are prey, they live because we allow it. Nothing more. I’d kill more of them myself if weren’t always so protected in those bloody clear plastic balls.”

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