Thursday 29 June 2017 by Davywavy

Bothans bring health and safety in the workplace claim against Rebel Alliance


Death Star Bothans

Families of Bothan spies have launched an eight-figure compensation claim against the Rebel Alliance after a series of workplace deaths.

Bothans, who are often attracted to Rebellion jobs by promises of high pay and rapid career advancement, accuse the Alliance of not showing due care and attention in the case brought by InjuryLawyers4U.

“We were first attracted by the adverts on the Galactic Web,” we were told.

“‘Had an accident? Hand or arm lost to a lightsabre? Fallen down a shaft into your own reactor? Force choked? Not your fault?’, it said.

“‘You might be eligible for compensation!’

“Well, what about all our spies? Why did nobody take care of them?”

Speaking on behalf of the victims, Personal Injury droid C-M0N Wil-PO said that he was fully conversant in over six million forms of Health and Safety legislation, and almost twice that many ways of padding his bill.

“Do you have any idea how many Bothan spies have died working for the alliance? Many – and that’s a lot,” he told us.

“It’s about time someone stood up to them and made sure the little guy is properly protected.”

The Rebel Alliance insisted that they had followed all rules regarding worker safety to the letter, and anyway the guidelines were all drawn up by the Emperor himself so really he was to blame for any incidents.

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