Friday 23 June 2017 by Pete Redfern

Britain showing little sign of recovery one year after self-inflicted gunshot wound to the foot


Shoot self in the foot

Britain’s foot is still a bloody mess following the horrific gunshot wound it received exactly one one year ago, it has emerged.

Britain has been laid up in a typically cash-strapped NHS hospital since June 23rd last year, coincidentally the date of the referendum on whether it should stay part of its friendship group in the European Union, with no sign of being up and running any again anytime soon.

Britain’s friend and accountant Germany told reporters outside the hospital “It is always tragic to see a close mate do something like this to themselves.

“We had hoped that as time passed Britain would be striving to make the best of an unfortunate situation, but things seem to have gone from bad to worse since that shocking act of self-harm last year.

“It’s a warning to us all that taking a machine gun to your own foot may have lasting consequences.”

A doctor struggling to treat Britain’s foot announced “Britain is not in a good way, but is hanging in there.

“Although I must admit, treating Britain would be a lot easier if the NHS had been receiving the £350m per week we were promised when it placed the muzzle of the automatic weapon against its own foot and pulled the trigger.”

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