Tuesday 20 June 2017 by Lucas Wilde

Mealy-mouthed white van drivers still not apologising for Finsbury Park attack


White van drivers

Drivers of white vans are still refusing to apologise for one of them mowing down some people the other day.

The salt-of-the-earth transportation experts came under heavy fire in the last few days for not taking action or even going on a march to show condemnation against Darren Osborne, the wanker what actually did the thing.

“I mean…no, sorry, what?” sputtered white van driver, Simon Williams.

“Obviously nothing to do with me. That’s stupid. I drive a van sometimes, that is the beginning and end of anything I have in common with that daft bastard.

“Why are you asking me this? It’s silly.”

Daily Mail journo, Jay Cooper, said, “it’s time the white van driver community realised they have a very real problem that doesn’t just extend to generally poor road etiquette and misogynistic attitudes.

“Some of them have clearly been radicalised by elders in local gathering places known as “pubs” and by their holy book, known as The Sun.”

Williams countered, “while I admit that The Sun does contain writings that might be considered extremists, it’s important to remember the many good things about the tome, such as tits and sports coverage.”

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