Tuesday 20 June 2017 by Davywavy

“Going to Meadowhall” recognised as Yorkshire’s national sport


Shopping centre

“Going to Medder’all” has supplanted cricket as the national sport of Yorkshire, according to reports this weekend.

Cricket, which is a civilised game played by gentlemen slowly over several days, lacks the excitement and challenge of visiting a gigantic shopping centre just outside Sheffield – which is why millions of people choose to do it on the hottest day of the year.

Cricket Commentator Geoff Boycott will begin hosting a new series of ‘Meadowhall Match Special’ on Radio 4 in the Autumn.

“Getting to Meadowhall is like a 21st Century Triathlon,” he told us.

“First you have to survive a journey in an overheated train with thirty-six drunk Wednesday supporters, seven bawling children and a fat lass screaming ‘I fuckin’ hate you’ down her mobile at her ex.

“Then force your way through a crushing crowd to the Chav-infested hellhole that is the food hall, where you queue for forty minutes for a KFC.

“And finally you have an argument about why you should never have come here because it’s a shithole, before doing it all again next weekend.

“Like cricket was a metaphor for the slow, gentlemanly pace and civilised standards of yesteryear, Getting to Meadowhall is the 21st century in microcosm.”

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