Friday 16 June 2017 by Lucas Wilde

“Nothing is THAT funny” drunk woman told


drunk Woman laughing and pointing

A tipsy lady has been told to just calm the fuck down.

Elizabeth King, 38, has been laughing like an absolute moron for the past half an hour and ruining the atmosphere for everyone else in The Rag and Bone in the process.

“A cross between a blocked drain and a mid-orgasm Chewbacca,” confirmed witness, Simon Williams.

“I’d like to suggest she’s been treated to the joke of the season, but I suspect she’s just been shown a YouTube clip of a dog falling over.

“I had to say something to her. This is the first time in about six months that I’ve been out for a drink and I was hoping to forget about things in relative peace.”

Barman, Jay Cooper, said, “she’s in here most Fridays. She’s even asked my name to get all chummy. I told her my name was Keith.”

Shaw said, “HAHHHHHH! HUURRRRRRHHHHHHHH!

“That dog fell right over! RIGHT OVER! HURRRRRR!

“Keith, look at this!

“Ohhh lighten up you lot, you know I’m bloody MAAAAD! HAAAAARRRR!”

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