Friday 16 June 2017 by Pete Redfern

ISIS claim responsibility for letting the dogs out


ISIS let the dogs out

Crazed cave-dwellers ISIS have finally owned up to being the group who let the dogs out in 2000.

Back at the turn of the millennium, when the party was nice and bumping and everyone was having a ball, the arrival of some unsavoury characters, or ‘dogs’ as they were colloquially known, ruined the party for the lads who were there from the start.

Since then, it has frequently been asked who let the dogs out, and today that burning question appears to have been resolved.

ISIS spokesman and chronic masturbator Simon al-Wilhamza explained “Yep, that was us.

“This was way back when Islamic state was in its infancy. Well, actually a decade or so before it formed, but don’t worry about the details.

“We just love to spoil a party, and that was too tempting to resist.”

While some blamed the dogs being let out for spoiling a good party, others who were there hold a slightly different viewpoint.

Eleanor Gay, now in her late thirties, was at the party at the time of the incident and laughed when she heard the news.

“Hang on, it was only when the dogs arrived that the party got crazy. I’d like to thank whoever let them out, if anything.

“I was chatted up, bought drinks and ended the party spending the night with a millionaire rapper. Well, he said he was a millionaire – I never saw him again and all he ended up giving me was herpes. But still, a great time was had by all.

“And I’m pretty sure ISIS wouldn’t know a good party if it came up and kicked them in the pussy.”

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