Thursday 15 June 2017 by Gary Stanton

Tim Farron resigns to spend more time on homophobia and your uterus


Tim Farron quits as Lib Dem leader

Tim Farron, who is the leader of the Liberal Democrat Party, has sensationally quit to take a much more rigid position on the gays.

On the subject of hot gay sex between a twink and a bear, the evangelical Christian has been wrestling with his conscience like Alan Bates and Oliver Reed in front of a roaring fire.

Farron said he should have dealt “more wisely” with questions relating to his faith and his initial reaction to the uncut video of Relax by Frankie Goes To Hollywood.

In an interview with Gay Times in 2007, Farron said of Relax …”it had a nice bass line, but I didn’t like the lyrics or the bit with the dwarf “…words that have come back to haunt him.

And when quizzed this week by Channel 4 News, Farron successfully dodged a question about fisting by insisting he was not a religious philosopher.

Farron now admits he bit off more than he could chew and says the break will give him more time to tell you what to do with your unborn foetus.

“The fact is that faith is a dirty word in modern politics, but not as dirty as rim-jobs or felching,” he told us.

“Really, you ought to be ashamed of yourselves.”

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