Thursday 15 June 2017 by Neil Tollfree

Londoners show defiance of terror by eating overpriced ‘artisan’ sausages at Borough Market


artisan sausages from Borough market

Londoners have shown their defiance of terror by flocking to Borough Market to enjoy all manner of overpriced ‘artisan’ meat based products.

The famous market reopened yesterday for the first time since the terror attack last week.

“ISIS can stick it up their arse,” said Simon Williams as he clutched an artisan burger topped with custard and wood shavings

“If I want to come here and pay five quid for a sausage with delusions of grandeur then I’m bastard well going to do so, and if they don’t like it they can f**k off back to the Middle Ages where they belong.

“And you know what? I’m going to have something horrible with fennel in after this. Just to spite them.”

Fellow Londoner Eleanor Gay agreed.

“I’ve paid ten pound for a haggis and heroin scotch egg,” she said, suppressing a heave.

“Yes, I must be bloody mental. But it’s my choice, isn’t it? And if me exercising my choice to pop down here for a haggis and heroin scotch egg gives ISIS the ache, then I’m going to continue to do so.

“In fact, balls to it. I’ll have two.”

It is thought that Borough Market will continue to be London’s foremost purveyor of overpriced meat based products with bits in long after ISIS have become a footnote in future editions of ‘World’s greatest arseholes’.

There are currently witterings below - why not add your own?

Previous post:

Next post: