Monday 12 June 2017 by Arabin Patson

Bloody French politicians just rubbing our noses in it, complain British electorate


British voters

Indications that Emmanuel Macron is on his way to a two-thirds majority in the French parliament is seen as smug showing off by the British voting public.

Several pundits have reacted angrily to the news from France that reasonable policies put forward by a charismatic leader have resulted in a decisive message from the electorate.

Telegraph journalist Simon Williams believes that the latest election news is part of a concerted effort to undermine Britain.

“This shows the perfidy of Johnny Frenchman. It’s bad enough they’ve dismissed our entire cuisine as cattle feed. Now they’ve elected a man who’s responsible for more vibrator sales than Magic Mike while our leaders look like insurance fraudsters appearing in court.

“And then the smarmy fucker becomes a global star by showing up Trump and becoming the face of people who understand climate science.

“Whereas back here, people routinely turn off the lights when leaving Theresa alone in a room. It’s just bragging.”

The French embassy has denied that their nation’s electoral process was designed to make the UK look like a barely functioning banana republic.

“President Macron looks forward to working with whoever will be PM after the orgy of Tory backstabbing that is surely coming.

“French statesmen have a special place in their hearts for British politicians. A side-by-side photo with one of them reminds our voters that things could always be so much worse.

“And merci beaucoup for Boris Johnson. Funniest thing since Mr Bean.”

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