Sunday 11 June 2017 by Neil Tollfree

The Sith Lords to support minority Tory Government on a confidence and supply basis


Sith Lords agree deal with Tories

Following two days of negotiations with Dark Lord of The Sith, Darth Sidious, it appears the Sith Order will not enter into a formal coalition with the Tories but will support them on a ‘confidence and supply’ basis.

Initially, it was thought the Government may have entered into negotiations with Northern Ireland’s DUP, but the Tories wanted a bigger pack of bastards with whom to enter a deal.

“The Sith Order are our friends across the galaxy,” said Theresa May, who now appears in dictionaries as the definition of the word ‘hapless.’

“We are in agreement on many things, such as being evil, developing a crushing, ruthless oppression of the populace of the galaxy, and fox-hunting.”

The Sith Order offered an interesting perspective on the deal.

“We look forward to a long and fruitful relationship with the Tories,” said a Sith representative.

“Not with Theresa May, of course, she couldn’t organise a pod-race in a canyon, but that Jeremy Hunt? There’s a man with the Dark Side of the Force flowing through him.”

It is understood that if the deal with the Sith Order falls through, Sauron, Skeletor, and both Dick Dastardly and Mutley stand ready to hold talks.

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