Friday 9 June 2017 by Lucas Wilde

Theresa May to outdo David Cameron with Coalition 2: Unelected Boogaloo


Theresa May coalition

Theresa May is going into an informal coalition that promises to be an even bigger car crash than the last one.

The PM’s plan, codenamed “Unelected Boogaloo”, will see the Tory party unite with the even more horrifying group of evil bastards known as the DUP.

“It’s going to be a human rights firestorm,” promised spokesperson for Number 10, Simon Williams.

“If anybody is looking to sue their employers, take maternity leave or use birth control, I’d suggest you crack through all of those as quickly as you possibly can.

“Because what we’ve got is a wheat-fielded desperado who will do anything to stay in power, and a party of frothing, religo-bigot types who know just how desperate she is and are going to push their agenda as hard as possible.

“It’s unelected boogaloo, baby! Anything can happen!”

Voter, Jay Cooper, said “anything can indeed happen. I’d rather it wasn’t this though.

“I voted for the Green party, so I’m pretty big on climate change, which the DUP put in the same field of reality as Batman, so I’m going to spend the weekend in the countryside while it’s still there.”

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