Friday 9 June 2017 by Davywavy

Ready when you are, EU tells Britain


Donald Tusk

The clock is ticking, the EU has gently reminded Britain today.

Sitting behind a desk and meaningfully tapping his expensive watch, President Donald Tusk has asked that now the election is out of the way he’d like to crack on, thanks very much.

Requesting that Prime Minister – whoever it may happen to be next week – now buckle down to the difficult, time-consuming and expensive job at hand, Tusk said that there are only twenty months left so it’d be silly to leave it any longer.

However, Britain has asked if they can have another five minutes as they’ve just got a few things going on right now.

“Look, it’s a bit awkward,” said Britain. “Can you just…just…

“Look, we’ll be right with you. Get a biscuit or something and we won’t be long.”

Britain then said it was a very bad line and they couldn’t hear Mr Tusk, before making a crackling noise into the receiver and hanging up.

However, the EU has said that they can’t wait any longer as they’ve got some important discussions about what shape bananas should be to be getting on with too.

Brexit means Clusterf*ck – get the t-shirt

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