Friday 9 June 2017 by Lucas Wilde

“How do you like me now?” enquires Jeremy Corbyn


Jeremy Corbyn election 2017

Jeremy Corbyn is in a definite mood for trash-talk this morning.

The usually quiet and humble Obi-Wan knock-off is feeling cock-a-hoop after Labour gained 29 additional seats and took away the Conservative majority.

“CAN YOU SEE ME NOW?” bellowed a naked Corbyn from a Labour office balcony to cheering crowds below.

“I told that food bank bitch I was coming and did she listen OHH HELL NO SHE DID NOT LISTEN.

“We may not have won, but we’ve made things bloody awkward for the posh twats and that’s essentially been my life’s work in politics.”

A Labour party spokesperson said, “Jeremy is obviously delighted, as are we all. We were drinking Lambrini until 6 in the morning- or sparkling turnip juice, in Jezza’s case.”

Spectator, Elizabeth King, said, “I kind of wish he’d get dressed.”

“But I can see why he’s thrilled – and indeed, on a biological level, I can see just how thrilled he is.”

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