Monday 5 June 2017 by Neil Tollfree

Theresa May repeatedly steps on rake


Theresa May stepped on a rake

Prime Minister Theresa May has stepped repeatedly on the head of a rake leading to the handle smacking her in the face over and over again.

The incident took place over a period of nearly an hour earlier this morning as she attempted to give a speech on why she is the only credible leader of the country.

“She was just walking around the shopping centre, trying to engage with normal people. It was creepy,” said a witness

“All of a sudden, she stepped on the head of a rake and the handle just bounced up and smacked her in the face.”

“It looked ever so painful. I mean, a rake handle smashing you in the face? It would hurt, wouldn’t it?”

The Prime Minister took a moment to compose herself.

“Yeah, she stepped back. Shook her head and laughed a little, like she couldn’t believe it had happened. But then she went forward again and stepped on the rake again.”

Again, it smashed Mrs May in the face.

“So she tried again, and stood on the rake again and got another whack in the face. She kept doing it over and over again.

“I left after half an hour. I mean, there’s only so many times you can watch Theresa May getting smacked in the face with a wooden handle.”

After an hour of repeatedly stepping on the rake, the Prime Minister’s team ushered her onto the campaign bus and she left.

It has been judged as one of the most successful campaign days for Mrs May since calling the election.

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