Monday 5 June 2017 by Lucas Wilde

Defiant Gallaghers not letting terrorism quell their hatred for each other


Liam and Noel Gallagher

The frontmen of Oasis are standing strong in the face of terrorism by still refusing to be in a room together.

Liam and Noel Gallagher have openly despised each other for pretty much the last decade, having spent pretty much the whole of their last concert telling each other to fuck off.

“And not even terrorism will stop that. They’re stronger than ISIS,” confirmed show business agent and bastard, Simon Williams.

“ISIS reckon they’ve got the 4-1-1 on how hatred works but they could learn a shitload from Noel and Liam. They hate each other on a truly biblical level.

“They are not letting terrorism disrupt their day-to-day routine of hurling spears into A3 size photographs of each other in between writing songs that are universally inferior to their joint efforts of old.

“It’s a shame for the fans that they can’t put their differences aside, of course, bu they’ve got other bands they can listen to, like Coldplay, who are definitely equally as good as Oasis.

“I mean they’re not, but you can pretend.”

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