Wednesday 31 May 2017 by Neil Tollfree

Slytherin House gives backing to Theresa May


Theresa May

Hogwarts’ Slytherin House has thrown its weight behind Theresa May and the Conservative party in the forthcoming election.

It is the first of Hogwarts’ houses to give its backing to a party in this election, although Gryffindor is expected to announce its endorsement of Jeremy Corbyn in the coming days.

The two houses that no one really cares about will probably go for the Lib Dems or the Greens.

“We at Slytherin House believe that a strong and stable leader is better for the wizarding world and the muggle world,” said Bulbous Oozing, the current head of Slytherin.

“We give our full backing to Mrs May and, of course, to Liam Fox, one of the evillest wizards to ever graduate from Slytherin.”

The Tories have reacted positively to the news.

“We welcome Slytherin’s backing,” said a Tory party spokesperson.

“And are grateful to the wizards there for creating the spell that we’ve been using to convince the electorate that tax cuts for the wealthy will benefit everyone.”

Hogwarts School has yet to comment on Slytherin’s decision or why it continues to refuse to restructure its system of houses despite years of Slytherin producing countless servants of the Dark Arts.

Slytherin is the latest in a series of fictional evil organisations to give their backing to Theresa May and the Tory party, joining HYDRA, the Empire, and The Koopa Troop from Super Mario Land.

There are currently witterings below - why not add your own?

Previous post:

Next post: