Wednesday 31 May 2017 by Lucas Wilde

May happy to take on Europe, but still afraid of chat with Corbyn


Theresa May

Theresa May reckons she’ll be able to cope with the very toughest Brexit negotiation talks, but would rather not have an hour’s debate with Jeremy Corbyn.

In a strange dichotomy, the Prime Minister has reassured voters that she will be a brash and difficult woman with the EU, while glancing around furtively to make sure Corbyn wasn’t approaching with a microphone.

“It’s a little odd,” said political analyst Simon Williams.

“She’s willing to go head-to-head with some of the most difficult bastards in Europe, but can’t stomach an hour’s back-and-forth with a fairly amiable, elderly allotment gardener.

“I would say it’s weak and inconsistent, but that would be the opposite of strong and stable, which she definitely apparently is.”

A spokesperson for Jeremy Corbyn said, “Jeremy has been practising his debating skills while listening to the soundtrack from 8 Mile.

“We’re hoping he won’t get confused mid-debate and refer to the PM as a ‘nasty ho’, although that may well close the gap in the polls.”

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