Tuesday 30 May 2017 by Arabin Patson

Internet deluged by slash fiction about Justin Trudeau and Emmanuel Macron


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Homoerotic fiction featuring the handsome leaders of France and Canada is being produced at such a speed that most adult literature websites have been forced to temporarily refuse submissions.

The sexually explicit stories, often written by women with more pets that they can take care of, have become the dominant genre of erotica on the web after the G7 summit.

Slash fiction writer and porcelain doll collector Amandine Rezian has revealed that she has barely slept in two days, but has written a 400 page epic.

Her French Restraints series revolves around the two politicians embarking on a decade-long tumultuous relationship where the boundaries of love, lust and hate become blurred.

“The first book, Rough Trade Talks, is nominally centred on NAFTA and Quebec, but the real subtext is that poor Justin falls madly in love after a breathless encounter in Brussels whereas Emmanuel is by nature a sexual explorer who won’t be tied down.

“Although he does like to tie people down with his strong, powerful hands.”

Most stories involve a Franco-Canadian alliance against the USA, but psychologist Simon Williams warns not to read too much political background in the tales of frantic lovemaking at international summits.

“It’s far simpler than that. Power is a great aphrodisiac but everything has a limit. Namely Donald Trump. People want tales of power and sex that don’t induce a need to clean things with bleach.

“And there is more love, respect and tenderness in a hardcore bondage scene between Macron and Trudeau than there is in Trump holding Melania’s hand.”

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