Saturday 27 May 2017 by Pete Redfern

Cat lovers are the most evolved of the human species, say cats


Cats

Human beings who devote all their love and attention towards their felines represent the height of human evolution and set a standard to be aspired to, according to cats.

Cats who have used the time between napping and defecating in the neighbour’s garden to study humans have reached the conclusion that ‘cat people’ are the most advanced of the homo sapiens.

Tabby cat Simon, fresh from destroying the arms of the new sofa his humans bought last week explained “A human who loves cats, or a ‘cat person’ as we believe they are called, displays all the traits of someone who is intellectually and emotionally superior to other members of their species.

“Their undying loyalty and servitude towards us despite the continual disdain we display towards them in return shows that out of all the humans, these ones have the right attitude towards us, the master species.”

He went on, “The human species are not as advanced as cats, obviously, on account of them still finding themselves in the position of having to work for a living as opposed to letting someone else give them everything they need and shower them with affection and love.

“But they are aiming in the right direction.”

A dog-loving human was unavailable to respond to comment on account of being too busy scrabbling around after his canine picking up foul excrement in a plastic bag.

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