Friday 26 May 2017 by Charles Oliver

LBC finds final solution to Katie Hopkins problem


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Radio station LBC has announced that it has found a ‘final solution’ to the Katie Hopkins problem this morning.

LBC said that their parting of company with Hopkins, who recently called for a final solution as part of a longer anti-Muslim tirade, was ‘surprisingly easy’.

“She’d made so many references to banning people and barring entry over the years that we took a leaf out of her book and did the same to her,” said station director Simon Williams, holding aloft Hopkins’ confiscated staff pass.

“We just gave her a bin bag with her stuff in it, and the finger, in that order.”

Williams added, “She’d made all these veiled references to ’rounding people up’, and then when we raised it with her she seemed surprised that the words coming out of her mouth resulted in things happening in the real world.

“It was like the world inside her head and the one outside it were completely different realities for her, and she was incapable of relating the two in any meaningful way.

“We’re thinking of giving her broadcast slot to a Syrian refugee. It’s not as severe as the sort of solution she proposed for them, but think it has a poetic beauty to it that most people will appreciate.”

The worry now is that Hopkins will try to reach civilised media through other channels, and it is understood that the BBC and ITV have already stepped up border checks to prevent Hopkins from gaining entry.

Williams added, “With any luck she’s holed below the waterline and will sink without a trace before reaching another column”.

 

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