Friday 26 May 2017 by Neil Tollfree

Boris gives UN speech with penis poking out of trousers


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There was embarrassment at Number 10 this morning after it emerged that at April’s UN summit Boris Johnson gave a 40 minute speech without realising that his penis was poking out of the front of his trousers.

Boris Johnson who, bafflingly, is the UK’s Foreign Secretary, was giving a speech on how, if everyone screws up their eyes tight and wishes with all their might, Brexit might not be a total catastrophe.

It was only when he looked up at the end of the speech and saw the stunned faces of the other delegates that he realised something was amiss.

“Ah. Yes. Little Boris popped out. Most embarrassing,” he said, before bending over to adjust himself and, as he stopped focusing on the act of standing up, promptly fell to the ground.

It is understood that prior to giving the speech he had popped to the lavatory and, after weeing in the toilet like a good boy, had forgotten how zips work and just pressed his fly together thinking that was all that was required.

The incident is said to be a little more embarrassing than the time he held a press conference without realising that his trousers had fallen around his ankles.

However, both pale when compared to the moment when, as Mayor of London, he got stuck on a zip wire and waved his tiny flags around like a big posh bell-end

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