Wednesday 24 May 2017 by Alex Webster

You have 24 hours before we release Andrew Neil, BBC tells terrorists


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The BBC has given terrorists a one day warning before they unleash Andrew Neil on them.

After a famous tirade in March following the Westminster attack, political commentator and presenter Andrew Neil gained viral fame as a patriotic purveyor of free speech smackdown.

Mr Neil’s speech was variously described as ‘Churchillian’, ‘Shakespearean’ and ‘totally berzerkoid’ by pundits in the mainstream media.

Head of the BBC Simon Williams commented earlier, “Andrew has been in a state of hypertension, what with Brexit and the election looming, but the events in Manchester have sent him over the edge. He’s gonna blow! There’s a torrent of righteous vitriol that we can barely hold back. The staff of The Daily Politics have been told not to make eye contact.

“We know that we can’t control Andrew, all we can do is release him in the right direction, like an eloquent and politically astute pitbull. To avoid problems with the UN, we’ve given ISIS a 24 hour notice of their impending and acerbically-worded doom.”

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