Saturday 20 May 2017 by Davywavy

God urged to spend less time helping people win sports events


God sporting events

God has been asked if he could spend less time helping people score winning touchdowns and concentrate on the important stuff.

Jehovah, who is widely credited with successful performances at major sporting events, has been told that whilst that’s great and everyone is grateful, it’d be better if He could focus a little more on natural disasters and outbreaks of major diseases.

Call for his His divine intervention are usually answered when there’s a three-point lead and only two minutes on the clock with everything to play for, but slightly less so when there’s a nuclear meltdown or a burning tower block.

“I’m an Aston Villa fan so I appreciate the need for divine intervention as much as anyone, but I’ve got say there’s probably better things God could be doing with his time than watching over us when we’re a goal down in extra time,” said concerned citizen Simon Williams.

“I wouldn’t want him to think we’re ungrateful for any miraculous long shots He wants to send our way, but only if he’s dispatched His legion of Angels to stop any massacres which might be occurring in Syria at the same time.

“Don’t stop with the granting of your Divine grace to sportsmen, but paying a bit more attention to places where there isn’t a major sporting event would be great too, that’s all I’m saying.”

When asked, God said He was too busy to answer any questions as he was deciding whether to help a sprinter run a bit faster than the guy next to him.

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