Wednesday 17 May 2017 by Davywavy

NASA detects supermassive Black Hole at centre of Labour spending plans


Labour Manifesto, black hole

A black hole detectable from halfway across the galaxy has been detected at the heart of the Labour manifesto.

Astronomers at the Very Large Array telescope in Nevada first became aware of the discovery at about 10am yesterday when detectors ‘lit up like Christmas’ at a burst of radiation being referred to as the “How Much?!” signal.

Scientists believe the Black Hole was caused by Labour’s credibility running out of fuel and collapsing under the weight of its own contradictions to a single, 2-dimensional point.

Mathematicians working on the question of how much money will be required to fill the hole refer to their work as the ‘How long is a piece of string theory’.

“We’re calling it Schroedingers’ Manifesto,” said senior brainiac Simon Williams. “As it will both spend more and save money at the same time through some kind of quantum process we don’t fully understand.

“Until you look at it anyway, at which point the uncertainty resolves and your money falls in, never to emerge until the heat-death of the universe.

“So pretty good up until that point”.

When asked, Diane Abbott said that NASA is wrong, and she knows a few things about Astrophysics thanks very much.

“I read that book by that wheelchair guy,” she told us.

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