Monday 15 May 2017 by Charlie Chapman

Employee tells co-worker seeking friend he just wants to remain colleagues


Man wants to remain colleagues

An employee has expressed zero interest in becoming mates with his co-worker seeking a friend, saying that he just wants to remain colleagues.

Rejected office worker Mat Poscha said, “I asked if he fancied a pint over lunch, but he said that he didn’t want to spoil what we already have, which is that we almost never interact with each other.”

The employee in demand, Simon Williams, told us, “Look, Mat’s a great guy, and I’m sure there’s plenty of people in this office who’d love to take their relationship with him to the next level, but I really don’t see our level of correspondence developing beyond emails and occasionally bumping into each other by the fridge.

“I just got out of a long-term office friendship – ever since Gaz in sales got reassigned to the Doncaster branch – so I’m simply not ready to put myself out there again,” he added.

Witnesses allegedly saw Williams later that evening having multiple beers with some of the guys from the accounts department.

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