Friday 12 May 2017 by Gary Stanton

Sushi fans warned to cook it properly after man gives birth to conger eel


Sushi parasites

Sushi lovers have been warned to cook it properly to avoid playing host to large parasitic eels with ferocious teeth.

The warnings follow reports yesterday of a massive conger eel-like creature bursting out of a man’s chest at a Sushi restaurant in Croydon.

Despite requiring emergency treatment from paramedics, sushi fan, Simon Williams, was handed a bill totalling forty quid after going on a massive sashimi bender from the grey plates.

Fellow diner, John Goodier, said, “Simon looked to be in some discomfort, but I just thought he’d had too many Miso soup refills.

“Moments later this large eel-type creature exited his thoracic cavity and attached itself to my face.”

Goodier managed to prise the eel free, whereupon it began thrashing about and headed off towards the kitchen area.

Colin Rees of the Food Standards Agency said, “We advise anyone eating sushi to cook it thoroughly, either by deep frying or baking in order to prevent their kitchens resembling a scene out of the film Alien.”

Williams was later reunited with his unplanned offspring after a lengthy search behind the bins at the back of the restaurant.

Yo Sushi branch manager, Damo Suzuki, said, “Father and son are both doing well. “

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