Tuesday 9 May 2017

We were kinda hoping you’d forgotten about Labour suggesting energy price controls, admit Tories


Theresa May to introduce price controls in the energy market

The Conservatives have announced an election promise to control energy prices, which is in no way similar to Labour’s proposal to control energy prices during the 2015 general election.

Announcing the plan to reporters, prime minister Theresa May said, “When Labour spoke about introducing price controls in the energy industry it was yet another clear example of a militant left-wing party attempting to stifle the market forces that have made our country great.

“Whereas our proposal to introduce price controls in the energy industry is an attempt to protect vulnerable consumers from rip-off energy suppliers.

“The difference between the two policies could not be starker. Seriously, I don’t know why you’re not getting this.”

The view that the two policies are in no way comparable has been backed up by the Daily Mail, who explained that anything that comes out of Ed Miliband’s mouth is ridiculous, whereas the same words from Theresa May miraculously become the astute musings of a benevolent leader looking out for the man on the street.

“Shut up and vote the way we say,” they concluded.

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