Monday 8 May 2017 by Lucas Wilde

Grandmother reminded “we just say ‘dark brown’ now”


Old lady using racist terms

Grandma has embarrassed everyone in the local hardware store by asking for a particular shade of brown.

Elizabeth King, 79, was helping her son pick out a brown paint for his study; which is actually a place for him to watch television away from his wife.

“I don’t see what all the fuss is about, I really don’t.

“He showed me the shade of brown he was after on his phone, so I pulled over a member of staff and asked for that shade. He looked a bit foreign, so I loudly and clearly said ‘excuse me, where is the ni-‘.”

“Grandma!” interrupted Simon Williams, having just returned from a ten minute discussion with the store’s manager.

“I keep telling her she can’t say that anymore. I don’t know why I brought her with me just to choose some paint. It’s probably a job a 32 year-old man can handle on his own.

“Now we’re banned from the store, just like we’re banned from the local used car dealership, my favourite tailor and the carpet shop.

“Trust my luck to have brown as a favourite colour and a grandma who can’t let go of a racist lexicon. It’s hard enough getting a car in brown as it is.”

Simon’s wife said, “we drive around town in a brown car. Simon’s mother isn’t top of my list of concerns.”

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