Monday 8 May 2017

Alt-right confused why France not yet part of ISIS caliphate


Alt-right on French election

Members of the alt-right have been left confused this morning after France failed to become an Islamic caliphate overnight.

With “France’s last hope”, Marine Le Pen, losing the presidential election to Emmanuel Macron, many on the right predicted France would immediately fall to the “Muslim terrorist hordes”.

“ISIS will today be celebrating France coming under their complete control,” explained one man-child on YouTube in front of his mum’s map of the world.

“France is lost forever. Already they have stopped girls going to school and have made the burka mandatory for all women.

“Yes they have, shut up!”

However, the French have reacted with their famed nonchalance to such claims from crybabies on the Internet.

As one frenchman explained, “Thankfully we French have rejected the insane dribbling of the pant-wettingly frightened alt-right to realise scared little boys on the Internet should be ignored.

“We have yet to find any problem in the world where the solution has been proven to be ‘be more fascist’.”

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