Sunday 7 May 2017

Marine Le Pen loses French election so badly she is granted honorary UKIP membership


Marin Le Pen loses election

Marine Le Pen has lost the French presidential election so badly, that she has been granted honorary status as a UKIP candidate.

With Le Pen set to lose by approximately two-thirds to one-third, experts are calling her failure “positively UKIP-esque”.

A UKIP spokesperson said Le Pen would be granted lifetime membership of the party just as soon as someone can work out how to use the printer in the office so they can print something that looks like a certificate.

They explained, “We normally reserve this tremendous honour for people who get their arses handed to them in elections by people in fancy dress outfits, but given the likely result here, she deserves it.

“Admittedly no, Macron was not dressed like a dolphin, but it’s still a pretty humiliating defeat for a such a staunch patriot. She is France’s Nigel Farage – well, she will be if she tries and fails to get elected another half a dozen times.”

Le Pen explained she was grateful for the honour, but that she wouldn’t be seen dead in anything purple and yellow.

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