Sunday 7 May 2017 by Lucas Wilde

Couple in ‘very passionate relationship’ actually just hate each other


couple hate each other

A man and a woman with “firey” personalities are destroying themselves from the inside out.

Simon Williams, 32, and Ellie Raymond, 29, have been dating for three years, and have shouted at each other through most of it.

“But that’s because our love is a passionate one and we’re passionate people,” confirmed Ellie.

“I don’t expect other people to understand, especially the people in Tesco who won’t stop staring when I bollock Simon for picking up the wrong kind of hand soap, the stupid fucking twat.

“I love him so much. I think.”

Simon said, “some of my friends have said we’re locked into a destructive death-spiral that will ultimately end in either a breakdown or a murder.

“But they don’t understand what Ellie and I have – specifically what Ellie has, which is a wealth of daddy issues and a sex-drive that really kicks in after a heated argument.

“I’m going to leave my shoes out by the door on purpose tonight, just to wind her up into some good, healthy hate-fucking.”

Jay Cooper, a mutual friend of the couple, said, “I went round to their house for a games night once. It ended with a scrabble board being flung across the room, and Ellie stormed upstairs in tears.

“Then Simon went upstairs, and I couldn’t tell if they were still arguing or having really unhealthy sex, so I just left.

“They’re good people, really, once you get to know them. But when you do get to know them, they will get very comfortable with fighting in front of you.”

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