Thursday 4 May 2017 by Neil Tollfree

‘Prick’ says EU, ‘Tosser’ says Britain


Brexit name calling

A war of words has broken out between the EU and Great Britain.

The squabble began after Britain deliberately knocked into the EU and muttered ‘a shit trading block says what,’ the EU then said ‘what’ and Britain dissolved into giggles.

The conflict escalated quickly with the EU calling Britain a prick and Britain has quickly responded by calling the EU a tosser.

Things briefly turned physical as the EU then kicked Britain in the shin and called it a ‘crappy country of crappers,’ Britain then wiped a bogey on the EU’s sleeve and ran off.

It is understood that the EU is happy to end this current spat provided Britain says sorry first, Britain in return is also happy to end the spat but ‘the EU can f**k off if it thinks we’re saying sorry first’.

There is currently an uneasy truce between the two. However, there are rumours that the EU is planning to ratchet up the tension by calling Britain a ‘cockface’.

Britain is said to be prepared for any such attack and has a plan to immediately respond by flushing the EU’s head down the bog.

It is expected that this sort of sophisticated and high-minded debate will characterise the Brexit discussions to follow over the next few years.

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