Wednesday 3 May 2017 by Pete Redfern

Theresa May slams deep fried potato batons for being neither strong nor stable


Theresa May, Chips in cornwall

Theresa May has expressed disappointment after being presented with a particularly difficult to eat hot snack colloquially known as ‘chips’ on the campaign trail.

In an attempt to blend in with the commoners in Cornwall, the Prime Minister ordered an aide to purchase a cheap snack for her to be photographed eating, and has laid the blame for the predictably disastrous resulting photographs on the snack itself.

“It is a mystery how these low quality deep fried potato batons, or ‘chips’ as I believe they are commonly called, are so popular,” she told reporters today.

“They were presented to me in a cone, which is neither a strong nor a stable receptacle for food, and the ‘chips’ themselves were very hot, a bit greasy and a slightly soggy.

“Not strong or stable, if I may use that phrase. Which I will, obviously. And repeatedly.”

She continued, “Maybe it’s because I’m accustomed to something a little more refined, but the proprietor looked utterly bemused when I asked to speak to his sommelier about the recommended accompanying wine.

“I have to say I was very disappointed by these so-called ‘chips’.”

It is understood that the event has caused the Prime Minister to consider introducing a special tax on chips, as anyone daft enough to want to put hot deep fried sticks of potato in their mouth deserves to pay the very sensible upper classes for the privilege of doing so.

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