Wednesday 3 May 2017 by Lucas Wilde

Man attempting to cancel phone contract empathises with £100bn Brexit bill


Man phone bill

A local man understands the pain of the UK government after having a bit of a chat with his mobile phone provider.

Simon Williams, 34, sought to terminate his mobile phone contract a year earlier than initially agreed and was presented with a bill that would make Bill Gates wince – and not just because it was viewed on an Apple Mac.

“Yeah, I feel the government’s pain at this point, to be honest,” nodded Simon.

“I got into this thing and signed a very clear and concise contract saying how much I would pay and when I would pay it, and for some reason the bastards at FonezALot still want me to stick to that, even thought I want to leave.

“I can’t believe I’m being held to the terms of a legally binding agreement. It doesn’t so much beggar belief as bugger it and then leave before breakfast.”

A spokesperson for FonezALot said, “We’re very sorry that Mr Williams doesn’t understand how a contract works.

“But yeah, we’ll be wanting that money that we were contractually promised in the same way that Mr Juncker wants his £100billion – in fact, the amount that we want is remarkably similar. We’re really rather evil.”

Mr Williams has responded by saying he will inevitably pay up but he’s going to be “a bloody difficult man” about the whole thing.

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