Wednesday 3 May 2017

Bad things still the fault of people who left government seven years ago, confirms Chancellor


Phillip hammond

Anything good happening in the economy is thanks to us, and anything bad is the fault of the government that left power in 2010, the Chancellor has confirmed today.

Speaking to reporters, Philip Hammond said that his government’s record borrowing and missing just about every public debt forecast in the last seven years is all down the previous Labour government.

He explained, “Look, we’ve had seven years to enact policies that allowed us to meet our forecasts and pledges, but we haven’t done that because of Labour.

“I mean, yes, technically the mess they left behind in 2010 hasn’t changed one bit since that day, and when we took over in 2010 and said we would fix it – but that’s irrelevant.

“And I also know we’ve said many times during those seven years that we would make everything better – and we haven’t done that – but again, and I do hate to sound like a stuck record, but that’s Labour’s fault.

“Let’s not focus on the specifics of why it’s Labour’s fault, because then you’ll realise you’ve had seven years of us saying we know what the problem is and how to fix it, and haven’t actually fixed the problem.

“So, I reiterate, it’s all Labour’s fault. Unless it’s good news, then that bit was all us.”

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