Tuesday 2 May 2017

‘Extremely lucky’ surfer went 32 hours without exposure to election coverage


Extremely lucky surfer went 32 hours without election coverage

An incredibly lucky 22-year-old surfer managed to go 32 hours without exposure to any election coverage, according to the coastguard.

The surfer drifted 13 miles out of to sea, ensuring he went almost a day and a half without hearing the phrase ‘strong and stable’.

A coastguard spokesperson told reporters, “A thick neoprene suit has kept him alive at sea, while his mental state has been helped by being out of range of political messaging on television, radio or online.

“Though cold, dehydrated and deprived of sleep, I’d say he’s far happier than anyone who has spent the weekend hearing about Theresa May’s strong and stable dinner with the EU.”

Many have claimed to be jealous of the lucky surfers 32-hour respite from the constant campaigning, morning noon and night.

Voter Simon Williams told us, “I’ve tried locking myself away from it all, even turning off the electricity in the vain hope of avoiding further election coverage, but then they came to my door and insisted on knocking until I answered – there is no escaping the relentless barrage of election-related drivel.

“So it’s settled, I’ve bought a wetsuit and a surfboard, and I’m heading for the nearest coast.”

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