Tuesday 2 May 2017 by Lucas Wilde

Donald Trump and Kim Jung-un urged to just flop them out on the table


Trump's nuclear arsenal

The leaders of North Korea and the USA have been urged to just take this nuclear the nuclear weapons out of the equation and address their dispute for what it actually is.

In the interests of world peace, representatives from the United Nations urged Donald Trump and Kim Jung-un to cut the crap and address the underlying issue.

“The tension, sexual or otherwise, is unbearable around here” confirmed anonymous White House source, Simon Williams.

“The President is determined to prove that his is bigger than Kim Jung-un’s, by which I mean his nuclear arsenal, obviously.”

UN Peacekeeper, Jay Cooper, snorted, “yeah, ok.

“Everyone knows that all that’s needed to stop this bullshit is the two of them, a small room, an independent adjudicator and what I imagine will be a quarter-size tape measure.

“Then, while they’re locked in contest, we’ll overthrow both of their governments.

“Everybody wins.”

The UN has one week to find an independent adjudicator for the contest, which is being seen as a hideous task in America and the highest honour in North Korea.

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