Tuesday 2 May 2017 by Tom Moore

Donald Trump and Kim Jong-un now ‘great friends’ after watching Heineken advert together


Heineken advert

Washington and Pyongyang have agreed to cease all hostilities and enter a new era of peace after President Trump and Supreme leader Kim Jong-un shared the new Heineken advert on Facebook.

The Kim administration has suspended all weapons’ tests and Trump has told the world he is recalling his entire military fleet in the South Pacific and diverting funds into renewable energy policies.

A close source told us, “They were just so blown away by the ability of one of the world’s biggest and most powerful brands to produce such an emotive piece of targeted and opportunistic marketing, that it completely changed their entire moral and ethical outlook.”

President Trump today took to Twitter to explain his sudden change of direction in the region, saying “Such a terrific advert. If those paid actors in that warehouse setting up the Ikea furniture can get along, then why can’t we all get along? #openyourworld”

Kim Jong-un is set to broadcast the advert on a loop on all national radio and television stations and as a display of his new intentions has invited Trump to visit North Korea to share a generic, tasteless mass produced lager with him.

Kim said, “That wonderful advert has shown me that we have more in common than we both dared to admit.

“We both have wonderful hair, have inherited almighty power and have massive, massive hands.

“I am looking forward to shaking them for a very long time.”

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