Tuesday 25 April 2017 by Pete Redfern

Pro-Brexit MPs have access to WMDs and need to be removed, insists Tony Blair


Tony Blair on weapons of mass destruction

MPs that strongly supported Britain’s withdrawal from the European Union probably have access to weapons of mass destruction, Tony Blair has declared this morning.

Addressing reporters outside the kind of multi-million-pound house that only the spoils of an illegal war can buy, Mr Blair said “The purpose of the various interventions in the election by European campaigners such as myself is to make sure that voters know which MPs are dangerous and to focus on getting rid of them.

“The way I see it, even if these Brexiter MPs don’t actually have access to WMDs, Brexit itself is pretty dangerous, so either way we need to invade and depose – ahem, I mean ‘vote wisely to remove these individuals’.”

He continued, “Obviously the correct way to do this is to use your legal vote tactically, but if push comes to shove, I’ll arrange for the armed forces to get involved. I’m sure Trump would be up for a missile strike, if needs be.”

Although his uninvited return to British politics has angered voters of all parties, some political commentators have welcomed Mr Blair’s involvement in a cause that for once will not result in the further decimation of several Middle-Eastern countries in the reckless pursuit of oil.

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