Friday 21 April 2017 by Lucas Wilde

‘That’s not what family means’ Vin Diesel told


Vin Diesel

Vin Diesel’s character in the new Fast and Furious film is still struggling with the definition of family.

The eighth Fast and Furious film, brilliantly shorthanded as “F8”, features the usual beloved cocktail of loud car chases, shit music and casual misogyny.

“And Vin’s character still misusing the word “family” a lot” confirmed film critic, Simon Williams.

“It will usually be when the all of the alleged goodies stop indulging in dangerous driving and criminal activity long enough to have a barbeque.”

“Then Vin’s character – no idea what he’s actually called – looks around and grunts “family” in the group’s general direction.

“The problem with that notion is that none of them are actually related, they’re only really brought together by the money-motivated task in front of them and they all fuck off at the end of every film.

“That’s not a family. At best, they’re workmates.”

A spokesperson for the film’s studio said “we agree that the film’s core group can only seem to spend time together when they absolutely have to, and that they all go their separate ways after just under two hours.

“Which is exactly how it works in MY family, so I think it’s accurate enough.”

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