The Big Bad Wolf is to open a lettings agency to better serve the Little Pig community, he has revealed today.
The agency – Huff, Puff and Blewitt – will primarily focus on eco-homes made of sticks and straw for first-time buyers, saying that brick-built homes aren’t really appropriate for the market he is trying to reach.
The Big Bad Wolf has been criticised in the past for what have been termed ‘aggressive eviction techniques’, although speaking to us today the wolf said that his critics were full of wind.
“The Big Bad Wolf deliberately lets to vulnerable piglets who are too afraid to miss a payment in case he bursts down their door or climbs down their chimney,” we were told.
“Many of these pigs have only recently arrived in the country after climbing down a beanstalk are unaware of their right not to be gobbled up by a rapacious wolf at a moment’s notice.
“If the Big Bad Wolf wants to gobble up his tenants, there is a clear legal process he must go through first.”
Consumer groups said that the big Bad Wolf was being allowed to take advantage due to years of underinvestment in solid houses built of bricks that would give pigs the security they need.