Wednesday 19 April 2017 by Tommy Wolder

Everyone on Facebook absolutely certain of election result


Facebook experts on election

With the announcement of the snap General Election barely a day past, literally everyone on Facebook is completely certain of the result.

Within ten minutes of the announcement, everyone’s entire Facebook feed was full of people who appeared to have developed an in-depth understanding of the entire nation’s voting habits, and had consequently declared the results of the election.

It is either a racing certainty for ‘the Tories, there’s just no opposition,’ or ‘Labour, people are sick of this lot,’ or even in one case, ‘the Lib-Dems, Tim Farron is really speaking to people,’ although it is assumed that particular person had been drinking heavily.

Polling companies, who faced criticism for their predictions in the last elections in the UK and USA as well as the referendum, are thought to be planning on searching Facebook for ‘Labour,’ ‘Tories,’ and ‘Lib-dems’ and just releasing the number of results as official predictions every couple of days.

With Facebook’s new-found political expertise, it is understood that the Electoral Commission is to investigate whether it’s worth actually bothering with the election, or whether they should just take your brother-in-law’s word for it that ‘the Tories haven’t got the support for a majority, no chance. Hung Parliament and she’ll quit.’

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