Tuesday 18 April 2017 by Davywavy

Man with heavily-modded Mitsubishi Evo untroubled by existential angst


Man with sports car untroubled by existential angst

A man with a heavily-modded Mitsubishi Evo is completely untroubled by difficult questions about the meaning of life, according to reports today.

27-year-old Simon Williams has a car with dropped suspension and ultraviolet underlighting and has never given the meaninglessness of existence in a cold and empty universe a second thought.

Simon, who has fitted a supercharger that allows his car to exceed 150 on the straight through the skill of his own hands, could not give a monkey’s chuff whether the purpose of humanity is to find its own purpose as he has doughnuts to pull in the local cinema car park.

While more earnest and serious people are reading books by people with French names about the inherent pain of life, Simon is trying to work out just how big a bass system he could fit if he takes the back seat out.

“If I want to spend my time worrying about whether existence has a meaning I’ve got a job in Cash Converters which answers that,” he told us.

“But give me six cans of Polish lager and a girl in a halter top and believe me, that doesn’t matter.

“If you ask me, you twats spend too much time fannying about worrying about shit that never happens,” he added, shortly before putting his car through a hedge at eighty.

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